Itaewon Liberation Front Shocks Nation
January 5, 2008 by yangpa
Just days after the recent elections, South Korea is trying to come to grips with the implications of the recent “Manifesto” issued by the ILF……the Itaewon Liberation Front. The ILF, a shadowy group of juicygirl-ajumma bosses, local interior and fashion designers, Korean wannabe yakuza, Russian ex-performers, and Canadian ESL fugitives has united and managed to form a cohesive front, dedicated to the cause of Itaewonian Independence. .
According to the rambling manifesto, the group seeks nothing short of an independent, internationally recognized, state of Itaewon, or UAI, the United Alleys of Itaewon.
The group’s leader, Coco Mama, [pictured above undergoing intensive guerrilla sales training in the 70's] speaking to a single moonlighting Korea Herald reporter at an unremembered location somewhere near the Itaewon subway station at between 3-6 am on New Year’s Day, said something like this…”We will become an independent nation, a Singapore with balls….”
UPDATE: Coca Mama, after intensive surgical reconstruction, has regained her former youthful appearance and can be recognized even now from the above picture, although she was rumoured to say, ” My calves are not quite as fat in proportion to my height, which brings me great pleasure and more influence. Once I have my tongue surgery, and get the double eyelids, I think I will be respected enough to be the kind of leader the UAI deserves. “