President-elect Lee Announces Luxury Canal

President-elect Lee Myung-Bak, fresh off his victory in a landslide election, announced today a major change to his peninsula-wide canal initiative. According to a spokesman, his transition team just concluded whirlwind negotiations with the world famous French luxury brand Chanel. A detailed M.O.U. has reportedly been inked.

The details of the agreement are not yet officially disclosed, but independent sources confirm that the following are to be included in the final plans for the waterway.

• The previously unnamed canal will be named Le Chanel de Asia  OR  Chanel no.1,2,3,4, or 6…..pending negotiations.
• The water will be perfumed at hourly intervals
• All barge and boat captains will be required to wear berets and scarves
• Duty free purchases will be available at bridges along the canal
• 48 golf courses will be constructed along the canal’s banks

This final provision, a bold move by the president, has dramatically reduced the previously vociferous opposition to the canal…er…Le Chanel. According to a spokesman for the transition team, “Just having a national canal will make Korea feel like a big country. But having Le Chanel will show the world we are a really big AND super rich country.”